What Is Forgiveness?

Forgiveness can be defined as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

Most people believe that forgiveness means that the offender is let off the hook, free to carry on as if nothing happened.  While God does command us to forgive others, He never said we have to continue to trust them or allow the offense to continue.

What forgiveness means for you.

• Forgiveness does not mean letting the offender off the hook. We can and should hold others accountable for they treat us.
• Forgiveness means allowing God to take care of justice. Trust God to take care of matters. (Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap, Galatians 6:7)
• Forgiveness is does not mean allowing the offense to repeat itself. We don’t have to tolerate lack of respect or any type of abuse.
• Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation. We can forgive someone without feeling obligated to restore them to their previous position in our lives.
• Forgiveness is a process. Know that it may take time to work through our own emotions problems before we reach total forgiveness. And that’s okay.
• You may have to forgive even if the offender doesn’t repent. Forgiveness is about our attitude, not their action.
• Forgiveness starts with a mental decision. Emotional healing may or may not follow quickly after we forgive.

Forgiveness is for the benefit of the offended, not the offender. It brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees them from the grips of anger and bitterness. Letting go of those negative and destructive feelings will empower you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define or control you. In turn, this will enable you to heal and move on with your life. When we ask God for help and offer our fear, sadness and pain as a prayer, we receive peace and divine love in return. This is true healing and freedom.