Every healthy relationship or marriage has its pros and cons. According to Dr. John Gottman, a marriage and relationship expert, most couples wait for an average of 6 years of being unhappy before they seek professional help. I think most of us would agree that six years is far too long a time to live in unhappiness, to build up resentment, and to live in distress. When relationships are under pressure, their spark of chemistry starts to flicker.

As marriage therapists and counselors, we discovered that:

• Most couples feel seeking counseling means they have failed in managing their marital issues, and it’s a reality that is often difficult to confront.
• Equally as common, we see couples keep their marital issues private and left to fester versus seeking professional support. The sad reality is, even when couples agree to seek professional advice, it is not unusual to hear that they have no idea of where to start or who to see.
• In some cases, one of the parties may not see any problem with what they are going through or may deny the facts of their shared realities. While at the same time, we’ve heard from other couples that they just simply think therapy is just not for them.
• Some couples may not be interested in continuing the relationship and might want to back out of their marriage and any options to salvage them.
• Others, too, may genuinely want to consult therapists but worry about the cost of the sessions.

When you realize your marriage is not working or going as planned, please don’t wait till the situation worsens before seeking therapy. Like the poem “See It Through” by Edgar Albert Guest, my advice to you is to “Do the best that you can do, you may fail, but you may conquer, see it through.”

Marriage is never a walk in the park, but together, when issues arise and are dealt with before they are given the opportunity to take hold on your relationship, they are more likely to end in growth versus regression.  That is to say, maintaining a healthy marriage is never easy, and it requires a lot of work from both partners to make it work, but therapy can help to identify tools and methods that can be used to get past virtually all obstacles.

There is a saying that Rome was not built in a day. Marriage counseling and therapy don’t guarantee a quick solution. However, it took more than a day to build unhappiness and distress in a marriage, so marriage therapy to repair the damage is not an overnight miracle.

Therapy will offer you steps and consistent sessions of counseling to help you in your bid to be in a happy and healthy marriage.

The most successful couples that use therapy to save their marriage are first and foremost willing and committed to improving your marriage. It is this mindset that helps to do the work and makes the therapy journey worth it.

Have you been living unhappily in your marriage for far too longer than you should? Are you ready to bring life back into your marriage? The good news is that we are here to help you if you feel your relationship is not where you want it to be.

Don’t wait till you get to the separation and divorce stage before seeking therapy. Our hands and doors are opened to you. Come in for couple’s sessions to develop better communication, connection, and commitment.

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